Do these people sound like anyone you know?
- Margot complains that she’s only attracted to men who are bad for her.
- Susan can’t stop herself from yelling at her kids.
- Kim can’t control her eating.
- Roger’s mind goes blank every time his boss walks in.
- Bob swears he’s going to quit drinking tomorrow.
People with these kinds of impulses and emotions are usually furious with themselves for not being able to control these feelings and behaviours. And their frustration with themselves often makes them feel worthless.
But there’s another way to look at these situations. Instead of being furious, we can say that a person has a part that is furious. Instead of feeling worthless, we can say that they have a part that feels worthless.
Going further, we can say that our whole internal, unconscious world is a family of parts, each with their own personality and strengths.
“We have ongoing, complex relationships with many different inner voices, thought patterns, and emotions that are similar to relationships we have with other people. What we call ‘thinking’ is often our inner dialogues with different parts of us.” (Schwartz, 2001:5)
What is extraordinary about our parts is that they ALL have a positive intention for us. However, when they are over-active, they can cause havoc in our lives. When we get to know these inner parts, they very often relax so that we don’t experience the impulses and emotions so strongly. We then experience less inner turmoil, like ourselves more, and get along better with others.
This method is called Internal Family Systems. It is a gentle, client-led exploration of your inner landscape.
So if your parts are acting out and creating drama in your life, Internal Family Systems therapy can help. We will get to know the good intentions of even your ‘worst’ parts. Your parts are waiting to meet you
Book a free, 15-minute session with me either online or by phone to find out how Internal Family Systems can help create more vitality, passion, and courage in your life. I’d love to meet your parts, too!
At Naturmend, your mental health is as important to us as your physical health. Doctors know that stress, addictions, marital problems, and challenges with your children can all have an effect on your physical health. The chemicals in your body that are activated by problems in your life can take their toll on you. Naturmend, has two mental health clinicians to help you feel better emotionally, thus improving your physical health.
Our registered clinical counsellor Lucinda Flavelle specializes in parent consulting and coaching, individual psychotherapy, and couples counselling. As a result of therapy, you will find yourself relieved of the burdens you were carrying, confident in your new way of being, and with a renewed sense of optimism and purpose about your life.