Have you ever felt like somebody was telling you something that happened to them, you were just checking in on how they were, and they told you a kind of crappy story? Did it feel like you needed to fix their problem? Truth be told, they probably don’t need you to fix their problem and likely don’t want to hear your suggestions. My four favourite words are: “What do you need?”
Maybe I need food, maybe I need a coffee, maybe I just need a listening ear. The power in somebody asking me this is that they’re honouring my choice in the manner and they respect that I can actually fix most of my own problems. As a human, I still need that connection, that support.
So next time somebody shares about their day, or something that happened (good or bad), consider checking in with them and either asking them what they need. If you are sharing and feel overrun with someone’s fixing of your own problems, take a moment and tell them what you need.
“I just need a night alone. I just need you to come by with a bottle of wine.” You are now empowering yourself to get the best support possible.
So, check in with yourself. What is it that you need?
As a Registered Psychologist, I have experience helping people with a variety of concerns including, but not limited to stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, parenting, and relationships. Together, we will use cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), and collaborate to find the thoughts and actions creating obstacles in your life, test them out, and combat them to decide if they’re helping or hindering you. Most of all, I want to help you reach your potential, and make the way there a little easier.